


Entering the "Escape the Night" fandom like....

by ETNMystic



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-08-24 20:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16647629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETNMystic/pseuds/ETNMystic
Summary: Based on ColeyDoesThings "entering fandoms" series.





	1. I MIGHT do a second chapter idk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tag urself. I'm Rosanna is best girl.
> 
> Oh, and ETNMystic, but that's kind of obvious.
> 
> Should I make a part 2?

**Coley:** Okay, which fandom will I have to push through today?

*turns wheel to reveal ETN.*

 **Coley:** _Escape the Night?_ Huh. Never heard of it. Okay, let's give it a go.

*opens door.*

 **Newbie:** Oh, you're new here too?

 **Coley:** What? Me? No, I'm just taking a look. 

 **Leave while u still can:** DON'T JOIN THE FANDOM. IT WILL BREAK YOUR HEART OVER AND OVER. 

 **MRS Stan:** Matt, Ro, and Safiya are the best trio of the show and I would protect them with my life. 

 **Nikita Basher:** Ugh, Nikita shouldn't have won. She was so rude.

 **Nikita Sympathizer:** She was trying to survive. Have a little consideration.

 **Nikita Basher:** So was everyone else!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** Ro is the most precious cinnamon roll and I would take a thousand bullets for her. 

 **Safiya was robbed:** Manny should have died in episode 7!

 **Colleen was robbed:** *crying.* Why? Why? She had the worst death.

 **Justine Stan:** Um, I think being buried alive would be a much worse fate than some stupid maiden.

 **ETN Hipster:** *scoffs.* The only reason people are freaking out over the show is because Ro and Matt are in it. Season 1 is much better than Season 3.

 **MRS Stan:** DON'T YOU DARE INSULT MY PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLLS!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** LAY ANOTHER FINGER ON MY INNOCENT LITTLE CUTIE PIE AND I WILL END YOU.

 **LEAVE TEALA ALONE:** WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE TEALA?

 **Teala was useless:** Because she didn't do anything. 

 **ColleenxMortimer:** Guys, who's your OTP? Mine's Colltimer!

 **NikitaxMortimer:** Um, no. Nikitimer is best OTP!

 **Mortimer Basher:** Mortimer was a truckboy. 

 **Fandom Mom:** Watch your language!

 **Mortimer Basher:** Truckboy IS watching my language!

 **MattxManny:** Guys, we're forgetting the best ship; Mattny!

 **RoxSafiya:** Rofiya is best duo. I would protect them with my life. 

 **Season 2 Fan:** What about season 2?

 **RileyxJetpack Girl:** Rilepack Girl is best OTP.

 **VeraxAndrea:** Guys, Verandrea is best ship.

 **AlisonxAndrea:** Verandrea's a toxic relationship. Alisandrea is the most precious season 2 ship. 

 **Theorist #1:** Guys, I have a new theory! Andrea is actually the Killer Clown Leader.

 **Theorist #2:** Lauren's a vampire.

 **Theorist #1:** That was proven false.

 **Theorist #2:** We never saw her, so it's still probable!

 **Destorm Fan:** *peeking out from the closet.* ....Um......I don't think Destorm is........a....shady.....character?

 **Everyone else in the fandom:** *death glares.*

 **Destorm Fan:**....okay, I'll be going now. *heads back in the closet.*

 **Weird Shipper:** Guys, what about CursedGodxMystic?

 **MattxManny:** Literally no one ships that!

 **Possessed Writers:** We do.

 **Coley:** Um....who are they?

 **Theorist #1:** They're the writers who got possessed by the Cursed God on ao3. 

 **Coley:** How did that happen?

 **ETNMystic:** That was my bad. 

 **Coley:** Who are you?

 **ETNMystic:** ETNMystic, I made a deal with the cursed god and now I have to marry him. 

 **Weird Shipper:** *squeals.* I HEAR WEDDING BELLS!

 **Coley:** Wait. How did you---?

 **ETNMystic:** Look, it's a long story. The point is I f****d up big time and now everyone in the fandom is getting possessed.

 **Possessed Writers:** Come join us, Coley.

 **Coley:** Yeah, I'll pass on that.

 


	2. Entering Season 1......

**Coley:**  So is this the entire fandom?

 **ETNMystic:**  Nah. There's a ton more through the doors over there.

_*Coley sees a ton of doors.*_

**Coley:** Wow! That's a.......a lot of doors.

 **ETNMystic:** Yeah, this is just the general area. The fandom's much more expansive than people think.

 **Coley:** Um, okay. 

_*Coley goes over to a door that says "Season 1."*_

**Coley:** This seems like a good place to begin. 

_*opens the door.*_

**Coley:** Hello?

 **ETN Hipster:** Oh, it's you again.

 **Coley:** Nice to see you too.

 **Justine Stan:** I'm here too!

 **Coley:** So is this every----?

 **JoeysWithTheEvil:** Joey's DEFINITELY the YouTube killer! Zip bap ba-doo bam da bop bam boom!

 **OliProtectionSquadMember 1:** Oli is best boy. Such a precious British cinnamon roll.

 **EvaxOli:** _*whispers.*_ Eli. ELI 4 LYFE.

 **Matt-sher:** Matt deserved to die. He just gave up. They ain't got time for that!

 **Matt Stan:** Hey! Sierra's death messed him up, okay? 

 **Matt-sher:** Well, MAYBE if he knew how to f***ing read, Sierra would still be alive!

 **TimIsBestBoi:** I'm so pissed that Tim never got his wallet back.

 **LEAVE ANDREA ALONE:** Why does everyone hate Andrea???

 **Matt Stan:** Because she's evil.

 **ETN Hipster:** Um, no, they mean Andrea BROOKS. 

 **Season 1 Writer:** Well, in this fanfic, Andrea's working with the evil.

 **Theorist #1:** I still don't understand why Joey posted a Twitter picture of the season 1 house TWO YEARS after season 1 ended. 

 **Shane Trash:** Shane was the only reason I joined this fandom, and they just went and offed him in the first episode!

 **Season 1** **Sinmaster:** Well, MAYBE if he had kept his mouth shut around Sarah, he'd still be alive. 

 **SierraProtectionSquadMember 1:** Sierra is the most precious cinnamon roll in the history of ever and I would literally die for her.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** *peaks inside.* DO YOU WANNA FIGHT ME? RO IS THE MOST PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL!

 **ETN Hipster:** YOU DON'T EVEN GO HERE! 

 **Coley:** DO you go here?

 **Rosanna is best girl:** _*sniffling.*_ No......I just have a lot of feelings.  _*leaves with tears streaming down their face.*_

 **Theorist #2:**  So did anyone notice the Murder Journal in Episode 4 at eighteen minutes and thirty-nine seconds? Sarah, Arthur, and Marvin's names are written in the book. 

 **Theorist #1:** _*gasps.*_ You're right! What does it mean?

 **Theorist #3:** Guys, I figured out the riddle from episode one. The ages are nine, two, and two. 

 **Theorist #2:** How did you figure that out? 

 **Weird Season 1 Shipper:** So, does anyone ship Evarvin?

 **Everyone:** _*looks at them in confusion.*_

 **Weird Season 1 Shipper:** Eva and Marvin?

 **Season 1** **Sinmaster:** Eww! No! How perverted are you? 

 **Colin Fangirl #1:** Colin is literally daddy. 

 **Colin Fangirl #2:** He could shoot me with his guns anytime!

 **Colin Fangirl #1:** Question is which ones would he shoot you with, if you know what I mean.

 **TimxAndrea:** Who here ships Timandrea?

 **TimxSierra:** Nah, Timerra is best OTP!

 **TimxAndrea:** They were alone together for like five minutes in the show. 

 **TimxSierra:** IT STILL COUNTS!

 **LelexVincent:** What about Lincent?

 **Everyone:** NO ONE SHIPS THAT!

 **EvaxOli:** You're all wrong. Eli is best ship.

 **Coley:** I thought there'd be more people in here, cuz it's the first season and all.

 **ETN Hipster:** Nah, the rest of the fandom is in the other two seasons. If you want to find more, go check it out. We'll have our lonely little get-together in here. 

 **Shane Trash:** You should stay and party with us. It's gonna be like an explosion; loud and lit.............

 

 

 

I'llgohome.

 **Coley:** Yeah, I'll pass.  _*leaves and closes door.*_

 


	3. Season 2: Victorian Boogaloo, aka the Squeakual.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yup, we're heading into this Hell Hole (tbh though, I like season 2. I'm a sucker for fantasy).

**Coley: *leaving the Season 1 room*** Okay, that was........a thing. Is that all?

 **ETNMystic:** Nope. 

 **Coley:** Okay.....so, what's next?

 **ETNMystic:** Well, if you're going chronologically, Season 2 is where you'd wanna go next. That's when I joined the ~~cult~~ fandom. If you don't give a shit, though, just go wherever. Except that door at the very end. 

 **Coley:** You mean the one with the torches on the side and the doorknob on fire?

 **ETNMystic:** Which one? The one with the torches on the side, lit doorknob, and red pentagram or the other one with torches on the side, lit doorknob, and red pentagram?

 **Coley:** There's a difference?

 **ETNMystic:** One of the pentagrams was drawn with the blood of fanfic writers desperate to seal that part away. 

 **Coley:** What about the other one?

 **ETNMystic:** The other pentagram was drawn with the blood of fanfic writers desperate to seal that part away. Oh, and the blood of a goat. 

 **Coley:** Yeah, I'll pass on that.

_***approaches door reading Season 2.*** _

**Coley: *sighs.*** Well, I guess now's as good a time as any.

**_*opens the door.*_ **

**Season 2 Fan:** Oh hey! It's you again! You here for the ball?

 **Coley:** Ball? No, I'm just dipping my feet in---, Uh, who are those people huddled in the corner?

 **Season 2 Fan:** They're still in denial about what happened to Laurex. 

 **Tana was Robbed:** I fucking HATE Andrea! Tana is the sweetest cinnamon roll!

 **Lauren is best girl:** No, Lauren is the sweetest cinnamon roll in the whole show!

 **Rosanna is best girl: _*peeks in.*_** Ex-fucking-cuse me? 

 **Tana was Robbed:** Shut up! You're not even in this season!

 **Lauren is best girl:** Yeah, just go back to......Nevermore or whatever the hell it's call!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** ** _*sobbing.*_** I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ON THE MATTER OKAY?

 **Sampson is precious boi:** I love my sweet cinnamon roll boi child. 

 **VeraxAndrea: _*holding dolls of the two.*_** NOW KISS, MY PRECIOUS VAMPIRE GIRL LOVES!  _ ***rams dolls against each other.***_

 **Torhil is Daddy:** I'd follow Torhil to Torhell just to caress his Torbiceps. ***giggles insanely.***

 **Cash is Daddy:** Cash can shoot me with his gun anytime!

 **Shower Thoughts McGee:** I wonder what would've happened if Andrea had been found out by Vera.

 **VeraxAndrea:** Isn't there a fanfic of that?

 **The Deep Diver of the Season:** Searching....searching.....exploring.......yes, there is. On ETNMystic's page. 

 **The Unsatisfied Fan:** The ending of the season was so lackluster. Of course, Joey is immortal in this show.

 **Shower Thoughts McGee:** If Gabbie's heart is in the Automaton Bride, does that mean that Cedric is married to Gabbie?

 **Andrea Basher:** "No one else was able to escape their fate." Yeah right, Alex. Andrea's not even an interesting character. She's just....there. She wasn't worth Alison's life.

 **Andrea Sympathizer:** She was the one who sucked blood out of the hickey of a fucking vampire!

 **Shower Thoughts McGee:** But IS Joey really kinky like that?

 **Jesse Sympathizer:** Does anyone else think Jesse was robbed? I mean, he had no chance to fight.

 **Jesse Basher:** He let his dick lead him instead of his brain. I feel no remorse.

 **Gabbie Stan:** Gabbie's death was the saddest.

 **Tana was Robbed:** Ex-fucking-cuse me? Tana had no clue that she was gonna die.

 **Andrea Sympathizer:** But Andrea was just trying to survive.

 **Shower Thoughts McGee:** Why out of a glass? Are they TRYING to be extra?

 **Destorm Fan:** _ ***peeks out of the closet.***_ Can I come out now please? 

**Everyone Else: _*hisses violently.*_**

**Destorm Fan: _*yelps and hides back in the closet.*_**

**The.....Interesting One:** Does anyone ship Joey with the Sorceress? Or maybe Dorien?

 **VeraxAndrea:** Who the hell ships those? First, Joey's gay. Second Dorien's old as fuck!

 **The.....Interesting One:** Like YOU can talk about OLD. You ship Andrea Russett with a vampire. And so does the other one.

 **AlisonxAndrea:** Well, at least MY ship is pure and wholesome, and NOT based on ONE interaction.

 **RileyxJetpack Girl:** Ex-fucking-cuse me? At least Jetpack Girl and Riley are around the same age!

 **The.....Interesting One:** Wait, what about Mystic and Dorien?

 **ETNMystic: _*_ _muffled through the door.*_** DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE! WHY DO PEOPLE SHIP ME WITH THE OLD EVIL GUYS?

 **The.....Interesting One:** What about Riley and the Sorceress?

 **Shower Thoughts McGee:** Aren't those two the same person?

 **The Unsatisfied Fan:** I think so. 

 **Season 2 Fan:** Do you ship any other writers with characters?

 **The.....Interesting One:** Oh yeah! I've got lots of ships.

 **The Unsatisfied Fan:** That's nice, except no one cares.

 **Destorm Fan: _*muffled through the closet door.*_** I do. 

 **The Unsatisfied Fan:** No one asked you if you did!

 **Coley:** This is......a thing, but didn't you say there was gonna be a ball?

 **Season 2 Fan:** Yeah, that's kind of the premise of the season. Care to join us in rewatching the second season for the 666th time?

 **Coley:** I haven't even seen the FIRST season!

 **Season 2 Fan:** So what's your point? 

 **The.....Interesting One:** What about Sampson and Liza?

 **Coley:** Oookay, I think that's my cue to leave.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #ShamelessSelfPromo #GoCheckOutMysticBloodIfYouHaven'tReaditYet
> 
> Also I've started an ETN fan wiki. Please add more stuff to it because why not? 
> 
> https://escapethenightfanfiction.wikia.com/wiki/Escapethenightfanfiction_Wiki


	4. The Third Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yup, we're diving into the (currently) most active part of the canon fandom.

**Coley:** *leaves and shuts the door of the Season 2 room.* Okay, so what else is there?

 **ETNMystic:** Well, there's 3 seasons and you seem to be taking this chronologically. So you might wanna head to the 3rd season.

 **Coley:** Okay. *approaches door that says "Season 3."*

 **Coley:** *sighs.* Well, no turning back now. Besides, maybe this one might be less.....crazy.

 **ETNMystic:** Oh, you sweet summer child, I envy your innocence.

 **Coley:** Um, okay? *opens door.  _Sympathy for the Devil_ plays in the background on low volume.*

 **Leave while u still can:** *yells.*

 **Coley:** *startled.* Oh, hey. It's you again. 

 **Leave while u still can:** Heed my warning and LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL HAVE YOUR SOUL!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** *sitting with MRS Stan and Newbie.* Oh hey, Coley! You wanna come join our little get-together. 

 **Coley:** *observes.* I mean, it looks harmless enough. Oh, you guys have food? Great, I'm starving! *reaches out for a cinnamon roll.*

 **Rosanna is best girl:** *hisses and scratches Coley.* Are you a cannibal? These are not for eating!

 **Coley:** Then what are they for?

 **MRS Stan:** Worshipping. They are the embodiment of the most precious girl in all of ETN history. *caresses cinnamon rolls and gasps.*

 **Rosanna is best girl:** We're gonna add them to our Jet Setter Shrine after this  ~~cult~~ fandom meeting. 

 **Newbie:** I don't associate with them. They just pulled me in here. 

 **MattxManny:** I need more Mattny in my life. They are best ship.

 **RoixTeala:** No, ROILA 4 LYFE AND BEYOND! THEY ARE OBJECTIVELY THE BEST SHIP IN EXISTENCE AND I WILL FIGHT YOU TO THE DEATH WITH MY HANDS CHOPPED OFF AND SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT IF YOU DARE SAY OTHERWISE!

 **Sally Stan:** I familyship Ro, Teala, and Sally.

 **RoxSafiya:** Okay, I don't care if they pair up as friends, as family, as lovers, but I NEED Rofiya to be canon. 

 **dark!saf Stan:** Hot evil lady step on me! 

 **Coley:** What the...?

 **RoxSafiya:** Oh, she's an AU member. We let her in here sometimes. Same with Sally Stan. 

 **Wilmer is Daddy:** Big strong demon muscle man can crush me any day!

 **Benjamin is Daddy:** I want nothing more than for Benjamin to take his long sexy arms, and wrap them around my neck, and choke the life right out of me. *gasps sexually.*

 **dark!saf Stan:** Hot evil lady step on me! STEP ON ME!!!!!

 **Coley:** Hey, where are the others? The Nikita Hater or whatever?

 **Sally Stan:** They're still out in the main hub of the fandom, I guess. Or maybe the Robbed Room.

 **Coley:** The Robbed Room?

 **Sally Stan:** One of the Debate Rooms. You should check it out.

 **CindyxBenjamin:** Guys, Bindy is the purest ship of season 3. Like, they're a match made in heaven.

 **RoixTeala:** ROILA IS THE PUREST FUCKING SHIP!

 **Weird Shipper:** Guys, the purest ship is the Cursed God and Mystic. Like, he made her see just how beautiful she is. He didn't even change her appearance. 

 **ETNMystic:** *through the door.* SHUT UP! I WANT NO FUCKING PART OF THIS.

 **Possessed Writers:** *through the door.* We do.

 **ETNMystic:** *through the door.* WELL, NO ONE ASKED YOU, YOU HIVEMINDED ÉCRIVAINS!

 **LEAVE TEALA ALONE:** Benjamin deserves to die alone! He killed off my precious Teala! Why didn't Ro take her place?

*Music stops suddenly. MRS Stan and Rosanna is best girl hear this and stand up. Their eyes turn blood-red, the room grows dark, and fire surrounds LEAVE TEALA ALONE.*

 **Coley:** *concerned.* Um, what's going on?

 **Sally Stan:** I believe they have just invoked the wrath of the Cult du Cinnamon Roll.

 **Leave while u still can:** *opens their mouth.*

 **Coley:** WAY ahead of you. *leaves.*

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AFTERNOTE: HIVEMINDED ÉCRIVAINS might seem like a badass insult, but écrivain is just the french word for "writer." 
> 
> The insult is just "hiveminded writers."
> 
> Also, sidenote, DOES anyone ship me and the Cursed God? Asking for a friend.


	5. The Ship Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. Let's look at some ships!

[as COLEY shuts the door, the shrieks and screams of LEAVE TEALA ALONE can be heard]

Coley: Okay, that's it, right? That HAS to be.

ETNMystic: Sweetheart, we have just begun. 

Coley: What more is there?

ETNMystic: You haven't even checked out the Debate rooms.

Coley: Debate Rooms?

ETNMystic: Yeah, I'd start with the Ship Room [points to a seemingly-ordinary door]

Coley: Oh, more ships? 

ETNMystic: [nods] You want me to come with you?

Coley: I mean, I guess I could use a little extra help finding my way through this.

ETNMystic: Swell. [stands up as COLEY turns the knob] Oh, by the way, I'd bring a life jacket in there if I were you. 

Coley: [walking inside] Why would I need a lifeja---aaugh!

Harbormaster: [saves her from falling] Whoa. Careful there. We don't want you falling into the waters.

Coley: Wha.....Waters?

Harbormaster: Yep. Waters.

ETNMystic: [as she enters] Welcome to the Ship Room, Coley. That's the Harbormaster. Their job is to get you on your ship.

Coley: But.....but I thought when you said Ship Room......

ETNMystic: This fandom is filled with a bunch of smartasses, okay? 

Capt. Rofiya: [from a large cruise liner] Ahoy there, Coley! Care to join our vessel; the S.S. Pure Cookie?

Capt. Magicholas: [from a tiny, barely-floating raft] No, join S.S. Carnival Magic! Please! I'm just getting started. I can't let this sink!

Capt. CursedMystic: [from a gradually-growing sailboat] No! The S.S. Cursed Innocence is the way to go. It's gonna be the biggest, most precious ship EVER!

ETNMystic: [groans] Someone get me a cannon!

Capt. Laurex: [from a slowly-breaking-apart canoe] Here! We're canon!

Capt. Bindy: [from a sailboat] Okay, first of all, you lost your cannon. Second, the ship should've sunk a long time ago! Just accept that it's over.

Capt. Laurex: [sobbing melodramatically as a part of the canoe cracks off and floats off into the horizon never to be seen again] IT'S NOT OVER. THEY'RE JUST TAKING A BREAK, OKAY?

Capt. Mattny: [from a fair-sized motor boat] Dude, join S.S. Rectective; our ship is the fastest and the gayest. 

Capt. Rilepack Girl: [from a fair-sized steam boat covered in LGBT+ flags] Excuse me? I think the S.S. Steam Angel wins the Gay Award.

Capt. Verandrea: [from a bloody tugboat] Well, S.S. Mystic Blood wins the award for the Most Bi.

ETNMystic: Hey, you took that ship name from my fanfic title!

Capt. Verandrea: You wrote it in the first place.

ETNMystic: Touche.

Capt. CursedMystic: [rowing towards the dock] Look, Mystic, just accept the fact that you're in love with the Cursed God, okay? Our ship is growing and we need our canon.

ETNMystic: Not gonna happen.

Capt. Roila: [from a small ferry] Yeah. And anyway, if anyone deserve a canon, it's my ship.

ETNMystic: Oh hey, Bird! Coley, this is Bird_Of_Scarlet. She's the Captain of the S.S. Spydevil. 

Capt. Roila: In this room, I'm Captain Roila. 

Coley: Do you captain a boat?

ETNMystic: Not yet. I don't particularly have any ships in mind. 

Capt. Eli: [from a fiery schooner] Well, we could always use more hands on deck aboard the S.S. British Journal.

Capt. Evarvin: [from a small raft] No, join the S.S. Pansy Journal.

Capt. Magicholas: No! Join mine! Please!

ETNMystic: Literally no one in the fandom is going to ship canufeelthemagictonight with Nicholas!

Capt. Morticholas: [from a Rodney boat] I agree. If there's any sensible ship, it's the S.S. Carnival Homeboy.

Capt. Galasaf: [from a Jon boat] No, it's the S.S. HOT EVIL LADY STEP ON ME.

Coley: Who's that last one?

ETNMystic: Self-inserted ships. I don't dabble in that area.

Capt. Mystanna: [from a tiny tugboat] What about the S.S. Double Innocence?

Capt. Safystic: [from a single floating log] What about the emerging S.S. Double Ravenclaw?

Coley: Then what are THOSE ships?

ETNMystic: [turns her around and pushes her out the door] Uh, no need to see those. Let's move on. 

Capt. CursedMystic: WHAT ABOUT OUR CANON?

ETNMystic: [as they leave] YOU'RE NOT GETTING ONE EVER!

[should I write more of the Ship Room?]

 


	6. Cinnamon Roll Land, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yup. It's gonna get semi-wholesome.

**Coley:** I'm guessing we're not done yet?

 **ETNMystic:** Not even close. 

 **Coley:** Yeah, that's what I thought. Where to next?

 **ETNMystic:** We could go to Cinnamon Roll Land.

 **Coley:** To what?

 **ETNMystic:** Cinnamon Roll Land. It's where we talk about the sweetest characters. Probably the purest place in the fandom.

 **Coley:** I guess I could use a break from the nonsense.

 **ETNMystic:** Great. [reaches for door handle, puts on a pair of sunglasses] Oh by the way, you might want a pair of sunglasses.

 **Coley:** Why would I need---?

[ **Mystic** opens the door. Bright light floods through the door as they enter a room decorated in candy and pastels]

 **Coley:** [gasps] What? What? What is this?

 **ETNMystic:** I told you. 

 **OliStan:** Oh hi, Coley!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** Welcome to the domain of the purest ETN characters. 

 **ETNMystic:** [sees a picture of herself] Uh, is this a joke?

 **Rosanna is best girl:** [sees pic] How did that get in here? [shrugs and turns back around] Anyway, you're welcome to stay as long as you like. We're just about to start our Cinna-Scouts Meeting. Just waiting on a few more.

[door opens. In enters **Tana is too pure, SierraStan, LaurenisMyBby, AndreaBisAndreaBae, MatpatSoPure, Fandom Mom,** and **a figure clouded in smoke** ]

 **Rosanna is best girl:** Oh great! Welcome back everyone!

 **SierraStan:** I brought cookies!

 **Tana is too pure:** Goodie!

 **LaurenisMyBby:** I brought arts and crafts.

 **AndreaBisAndreaBae:** Lovely!

[Coley stares on in disbelief]

 **Rosanna is best girl:** Okay, all together now.

**All the Scouts, raising their right hands:**

_Cinna-Scouts of Escape the Night are_

_Adorable_

_Beautiful_

_Creative_

_Darling_

_Enthusiastic_

_Free-spirited_

_Good-intentioned_

_Heartwarming_

_Innocent_

_Just the best_

_Kind_

_Laughing_

_Meek_

_Noble_

_Open_

_Pure_

_Quite amazing_

_Rosy-cheeked_

_Shy_

_Too good for this world_

_Underestimated_

_Very cute_

_Wonderful_

_Xylophone_

_Youthful_

_Zippy_

_every morning, noon, night, and all day long._

**Rosanna is best girl:** Very good!

 **ETNMystic:** I'd like to remind you that Xylophone is not something one can be.

 **OliStan:** Pointing out flaws, Mystic? That is not very adorable, beautiful, compassionate, darling, enthusiastic, free-spirited, good-intentioned, heartwarming, innocent, just the best, kind, laughing, meek, noble, open, pure, quite amazing, rosy-cheeked, shy, too good for this world, underestimated, very cute, wonderful, xylophone, youthful, OR zippy of you.

 **ETNMystic:** It's noble if it's for the greater good.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** That's lovely, but can we PLEASE start our cinnameeting?

 **ETNMystic:** [sighs] Fine.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** Okay, everyone, let's check in on our cinnaprogress. SierraStan?

 **SierraStan:** I made cookies!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** What flavor?

 **SierraStan:** Gooey Chocolate Chip.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** That earns you 10 cinnapoints!

 **SierraStan:** Golly gee!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** OliStan?

 **OliStan:** I smiled at a grumpy old man.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** How did he react?

 **OliStan:** He smiled back!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** That's 10 cinnapoints to you!

 **OliStan:** Gee Willickers! 10 whole cinnapoints? Thank you so very much!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** Thanking me for giving you points gives you 10 extra cinnapoints. Fandom Mom?

 **Fandom Mom:** I've been babysitting my siblings.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** 10 cinnapoints! LaurenisMyBby?

 **LaurenisMyBby:**  I put together some arts and crafts for us to do!

 **Rosanna is best girl:**  10 cinnapoints! AndreaBisAndreaBae?

 **AndreaBisAndreaBae:** I've been helping my parents with dinner.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** Cooking and being sweet? That's worth 20 cinnapoints! Tana is too pure?

 **Tana is too pure:** [blushes] I accidentally said the F-word.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** [gasps] Under what circumstances?

 **Tana is too pure:** I stubbed my toe on the side of the table.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** Oh dear me. I'm so sorry. That's 5 cinnapoints deducted. However, I'll give you 3 cinnapoints back for honesty. Oh! And before we continue, I'd like to remind you scouts that you can always opt to do a service project for extra cinnapoints or for deducted cinnapoints. Now, that that's out of the way, MatpatSoPure?

 **MatpatSoPure:** I went to Disneyland.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** What did you do there?

 **MatpatSoPure:** Let's see; I gave a family my FastPass for Splash Mountain, I grabbed a balloon that was about to float away and gave it to a crying child, I paid for an old couple that was behind me in the ice cream line, I danced with some of the characters during the parade, I helped a small child conquer her fear of the costumed characters, I cheered up a cranky teen boy, I filled in for the White Rabbit for half an hour when he got food poisoning until his replacement arrived, and I took a picture for a honeymooning couple during the fireworks.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** [tallying under her breath] Let's see; Disneyland is 20, plus 10, divided by the square root of Mickey Mouse......Oh my! That's 110 cinnapoints! 

 **Figure:** I've been doing something.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** Oh! Would you like to share?

 **Figure:** I've been hypnotizing Mystic into becoming innocent again.

 **ETNMystic:** You're doing WHAT?

 **Rosanna is best girl:** It's only a matter of time, Mystic. Figure, that's 1000 cinnapoints. Would you like to reveal yourself?

 **Figure:** [pulls off hood] My name is Lilith Divola.

 **ETNMystic:** So that picture WASN'T an accident!

 **Rosanna is best girl:** There's no escaping the purity, Mystic. You're almost innocence incarnate. We need you. JOIN US.

 **ETNMystic:**  [grabs and drags **Coley** through the door] Aaaaaand we're out of here.

 **Rosanna is best girl:** [calling as they leave] We know you'll be back. This isn't the last chapter of Cinnamon Roll Land!

 

 


	7. Possession AU, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah. We're going there.

Coley: [rubs her eyes] Well, that was......something.

ETNMystic: Yeah, they've been trying to get me to join for ages. It's like a Stepford Scouts troop. 

Coley: So where next?

ETNMystic: Wherever you wanna go. Doesn't matter to me. All of these rooms are gonna have something.....interesting about them.

Coley: [spies a door]  _Possession AU Room._ How about there?

ETNMystic: [quickly] You really don't wanna go in there!

Coley: [enters room] Oh come on. After all I've seen so far, how bad can this---?

CursedxMystic Leader: [gleefully] Our Cinnamon Roll Empress has returned!

ETNMystic: Oh boy. Here we go. 

Coley: Aw! You're all so adorable! What are you?

CursedxMystic Member 1: We're the cult of Mystic!

CursedxMystic Member 2: We worship the Cinnamon Roll Empress.

CursedxMystic Leader: And wait for the inevitable day our OTP becomes canon!

ETNMystic: So.....never.

Coley: What's in the cage back there?

CursedxMystic Member 3: That's Bird_Of_Darkness. She's resting right now. 

CursedxMystic Member 4: So what's your favorite  _Possession AU_ Fanfic, everyone?

CursedxMystic Member 5: I love  _Unlucky Number 12._

CursedxMystic Member 6: As a whole?

CursedxMystic Member 5: Well, some aspects of it, but especially  _Little Orphan Annie._ It's the one that started it all!

CursedxMystic Member 4: I'm still waiting for her to update  _Hottie in Brown Sparkles._

ETNMystic: Don't attack me like this! _  
_

CursedxMystic Member 7: My favorite would have to be  _Morticia._

CursedxMystic Member 8: But it's exactly the same as _Little Orphan Annie._

CursedxMystic Member 7: *Almost* the same.  _Morticia_ dives deeper into Teala's story and actually has a character death before the ending. 

CursedxMystic Member 9: I'm more of a  _Persuasion_ kind of girl. 

CursedxMystic Member 10:  _A Visit from the Darkness,_ anyone?

CursedxMystic Member 11: I like  _The Voice Documentations of ETNMystic: Everlock Edition._ The entries......They just.....they feel so personal, you know?

CursedxMystic Member 12: Nah, fam.  _Our Eternity Together_ is where it's at. Like, how the hell did Calvin infiltrate the camp so easily? 

CursedxMystic Member 13: I agree. And who is Envy? He sounds cute. 

CursedxMystic Member 14: Y'all are lying to yourselves if  _The Catacombs_ isn't one of your faves. That's the closest our OTP has been to becoming canon. 

CursedxMystic Leader: For now.

CursedxMystic Member 15: Yeah, and Lilith Divola.......I want her to be my mother. 

CursedxMystic Member 16: I'm a sucker for  _All My Fault._ It's just kinda cute to see her and Ro cuddling together.

[group glares at 16]

CursedxMystic Member 16: [quickly, panicked] Just as a "what-if?"

CursedxMystic Member 17: Does no one remember  _Innocent Deception_?

CursedxMystic Member 18: Forget all of those. When is the next update for  _Cute Overload_?

CursedxMystic Member 19: No.  _a Call to aRMS_ NEEDS an update first. 

CursedxMystic Member 20: I think we can all agree that  _Lucky Number 12_ is the best. I mean, think about it. We might not be here if that hadn't been written!

CursedxMystic Leader: Touche. 

ETNMystic: So when are you all leaving?

CursedxMystic Leader: Probably never.

ETNMystic: Okay, Coley. I think we should go now.

[grabs her hand and runs out]

 


End file.
